Sunday, November 13, 2016

Be the Broken Cookie...

My Mom did not make cookies very often, but when she did it was a big deal -  a very big deal with a very big amount of cookie.   One batch of Mom's cookies made 7 dozen, so doubling the batch meant 14 dozen cookies.  That's 168 cookies.  Her philosophy was a good one.   I mean, if you are going to make cookies,  make as many as you can. Two batches is not much more work than one, and then you can eat cookies for days and days.  And,  well, they're cookies.  Can you get much better than chocolate chip cookies or oatmeal cookies. (No raisins, please.  Raisins ruin everything.) Can you really have too many cookies?

But there was one step my Mom added, that would you not find in the cookbook.  Most chocolate chip cookie recipes state to drop the dough by teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet.  This was not acceptable to her.   So we would grab the dough by the teaspoonful, roll it into a ball in our hands and bake them this way. The result was perfectly round cookies.  PERFECTLY round.  But, you know not every cookie can be perfect. So, inevitably, one would be broken.  Another one would flip over while removing it from the pan to cool and get smushy.   Maybe another would be touched with the potholder when taking them out of the oven and be all lopsided. Sometimes, a whole sheet would be just a bit overcooked.   Now, those damaged cookies were the ones my brothers' and I were allowed to eat first. So, the more cookies that were less than perfect,  more damaged, meant more treats for us on cookie day.  I mean, the damaged ones tasted the same as the perfect ones. They just were not as pretty so we got rid of them first.  The pretty and perfect cookies were the only cookies sent to neighbors, or to class parties, or to whatever event we might happen to be making them for. 

There is a ton I could say here. About perfection.  About rejection. But today, I want to talk about being broken.

See,  I am a messed up cookie trying to be a perfect one.  I have lived the majority of my life trying to present a pretty and perfect self to the world.  I strive to look great put together. I want to have a perfect home, have perfect kids, and live the perfect life.  But deep down, I know I am living a lie. I am not perfect.  I do not have it all together. I live in fear.  I feel insecure.  I feel inadequate and insufficient. I make mistakes. I mess up.  I fail, and I sin.  I am just a broken cookie try to present an unbroken life.  And, as any baker can tell you, you may able to frost over a broken cake to hide the break, but there is no fixing a broken cookie.

The amazing thing is....God is not surprised about my broken and messed up places.  And even more amazing...those broken places and messed up areas He wants to use for His glory.  Did you see all the I statements?  I really am all of those things.  But Jesus is more!  I am not perfect or sinless or without mistakes, but Jesus is.  I do not have it all together, but Jesus is directing my steps and is making all things work together for good.  I am afraid, but the Bible tells us that He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgement.  I feel insecure, but my place is secure in Christ. I am a co heir with him, and I am firmly held with in the Father's hand.  I feel insufficient, but He says His grace is sufficient. When I feel inadequate, He says my adequacy comes only from Him.

I am reminded of the woman in Mark 14:3.  Do you remember the story?  See Jesus was at Simon the Leper's house reclining at a table when this unnamed woman comes to him with an alabaster jar of pure oil of nard.  An expensive jar of fragrant oil believed to be worth about one year's wages. She brings in this jar, breaks it open and anoints Jesus's head with the oil inside.   She had to break the jar for the fragrance and the oil to be released. Did you get that?  The jar had to be......broken.  We could even say that until the jar was broken, the oil was useless.  

I am learning that I need not be afraid to be broken.  I don't need to fear my mistakes. And, most importantly, I need to let others see the mess.  Jesus is not looking for a beautiful alabaster jar to sit on a shelf. He is looking for a broken mess, that is bathed in His grace. Then, the sweet fragrance of a transformed life is released into this lost world.

You know as well as I do, broken cookies taste just as good as perfect ones.  And now,  I think they may taste even better. Because I know Jesus can use a broken life much more than he can use  a perfect one.  


Lisa Pulatov said...

Thank you for proud to be a broken cookie

Pink Berry said...

me too, thank you!

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